My dearest, sweetest Loves,
In the past two years, four parents of your friends have lost a parent. If I am gone too soon, please know it was not too soon. My time on this earth was up, and I am rejoicing in the heavens watching over you. I am patiently awaiting your arrival in heaven as well, when we will be reunited. Don't ever think of cutting your time on earth short. You have a destiny to fulfill, and that is to be completed whether I am on this earth or in it. Please know that God did not take me from you, nor did He do this to you. Each of us are given a purpose here on earth, and my purpose came to fruition.
The question you should be asking is not, "Why did this happen?" or even, "Why did God let this happen?" The question should be, "Why not?" Think about it. MY purpose was finished, and it was my time to ascend to the heavenly places to take my crown of jewels. So please do not be angry. Please do not become bitter. My ascension to heaven does not change who you are, who you were created to be, or your purpose here on earth. You must remember the things I have told you, the things that God has said about you. Read this blog over and over again every time that you feel sad. You can remember how much I love you. I love you so much, my heart aches. You are so precious and beautiful, my meager words here cannot do you or my love justice. As I write the words, tears are streaming down my face knowing that one day you will be reading these words, and I will not be there to cuddle you and comfort you. But rest assured that God will always comfort you. He is the Great Comforter. Lean not on your own understanding, but in ALL your ways acknowledge Him. He will give you peace. He will be your refuge in times of need. And you will need refuge. You will need comfort.
To quote Pooh Bear, "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know."
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
Fleeting Feelings
This kind of relative morality directly contradicts the Bible. The Bible and God's truth is not relative—it is absolute, and it is never-changing. Malachi 3: 6 says, "I, the Lord, do not change." That puts it pretty plainly. But if that's not enough for you, Jesus also says in John 14:6 "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life." So if we use a little logic here, Jesus, the Lord, does not change, and neither does the Way, the Truth or the Life. None of it changes. "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8). He is the steadfast rock that is unwavering.
Feelings and emotions waver--they wax and wane; they are red-hot with passion one day, and cold as ice the next. Juliet had it right when she told Romeo, "O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon/That monthly changes in her circle orb/Lest that thy love prove likewise variable." She knew that feelings and emotions can be fleeting. As Christians, we don't get to rely on our feelings for our truth, but rather we must fully rely on God's Word and God's truth. We don't get to pick and choose which scriptures we "feel like" following.
So are we to ignore our feelings? Of course not. But we are to submit those feelings to the Holy Spirit prior to acting on them. The Bible tells us that our soul (mind, will, and emotions) is to be submitted to the Holy Spirit. So if we are Christians who submit our souls (including our feelings) to the Lord, then we must always look at our emotions in light of the Lord, the Truth and the Bible, and it isn't easy.
Even David, a man after God's own heart, had trouble submitting his soul to the Spirit. Psalm 103:1 says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul; and all that is within me, bless His holy name!" This is the Psalmist speaking to his soul--to his mind, his will and his emotions--telling them to bless the Lord. He is submitting his soul to his spirit--His Spirit.
The bottom line is that it doesn't really matter how you feel. Feelings lie, and Satan can give you those feelings anyway. What matters is the Word of God, because in the Word of God is all Truth. When we use the Word of God as our yardstick to measure our lives, it is far more secure than using our ephemeral, ever-changing feelings.
Friday, January 12, 2018
Put in the Work
Several years ago, after my divorce, God promised me a home (as in one I could purchase for myself and my girls). So I started working my butt off to save money; I drove the bus whenever I could, and I started coaching to earn extra cash. We scrimped and saved. I did massive amounts of credit repair. Then I had to go house hunting. I had to write a $1,000 earnest money check. I had to put in a mortgage application. I had to sign the documents. I had to go get a really big cashier's check with all the money I had in the entire world. And in August, I bought my first new home as a single mom. God was the only way it could happen.
With this being said, God made me a promise of a home. But I had to do the work on myself first, then I had to actually put myself out there and go through the process of purchasing the home. God was with me every step of the way, guiding me, teaching me and showing me what to do. But He did not just drop a house in my lap. I didn't just keep praying more or harder for a house. I had to do WORK.
The same principle applies to relationships. So many times, we think that God will just drop a man in our laps. We think that God will just bring that person to us without us having to *do* a thing. It doesn't work that way. We have to prepare ourselves (credit repair), we have to look for Godly people to befriend (house-hunting) and put ourselves out there (apply for that mortgage—we could get denied!), and actually go through the process (which is scary!) in order to have that Godly relationship (home) we desire.
So stop thinking that a house or a mate will just arrive one day just because God gave you a promise. WORK the promise!
With this being said, God made me a promise of a home. But I had to do the work on myself first, then I had to actually put myself out there and go through the process of purchasing the home. God was with me every step of the way, guiding me, teaching me and showing me what to do. But He did not just drop a house in my lap. I didn't just keep praying more or harder for a house. I had to do WORK.
The same principle applies to relationships. So many times, we think that God will just drop a man in our laps. We think that God will just bring that person to us without us having to *do* a thing. It doesn't work that way. We have to prepare ourselves (credit repair), we have to look for Godly people to befriend (house-hunting) and put ourselves out there (apply for that mortgage—we could get denied!), and actually go through the process (which is scary!) in order to have that Godly relationship (home) we desire.
So stop thinking that a house or a mate will just arrive one day just because God gave you a promise. WORK the promise!
Friday, January 5, 2018
Satan's Attacks
Growing up, the adults in my life would tell me that I was a leader. Being young and naive, I would try to be a leader--I ran for class office, I tried to step up into other leadership roles at school, and I never won. Not once. My senior year, I was captain of the basketball team, but that was mainly because I was the best one on the team--not because of stellar leadership skills. I left high school thinking that the adults in my life were severely mislead about my abilities, and that I was most definitely not a leader. So that's how I led my life--that is until a couple years ago.
One of the singles pastors at church decided that I needed to lead a group. Obviously, I did not concur, but I bit the bullet and did it anyway. After that season, I was asked again to be a leader, then again. In May 2016, I got a call from my singles pastor. She asked me to lead the Single Parent Family Mission Trip to Mexico. I had not even really planned on going on that trip. I had been praying about whether to sign up or not, but I still wasn't sure that's what God wanted me to do. She told me that she wasn't able to go on the trip because of a scheduling conflict. She said that she was told to choose one man and one woman to lead the trip in her stead. My gut reaction was to say no. I am not anywhere near qualified to lead a group of people on a mission trip. I hesitated, then I heard myself say, "yes" to her. Over the next few months, I spent more time in prayer than I ever had in my life. I carefully sought the Lord in every plan that I made. My co-leader was the perfect person for me to lead with. He is a big-picture person, and I'm a details person. We worked perfectly together, and my confidence in my leadership abilities was feebly growing.
There were numerous setbacks and rough patches in the missions team as we prepared for the trip. I had to handle situations I had never had to handle before. I realized that dealing with people is messy business. I was in uncharted territory. My faith in my abilities was shaky at best, and I truly had to learn to lean on the Lord in every step I took. The mission trip itself was one of the most trying weeks of my life. Not only was is physically draining (hard work, heat and humidity, and I was suffering from altitude sickness), but it was spiritually draining. We were in an area of Mexico that was dark and Satan's handiwork was evident everywhere we turned. It was emotionally draining to be away from my children, and it took a toll on my emotions that I was the leader. In the midst of dealing with my own struggles, everyone turned to me with their issues as well. The last evening we were there, things were not going as planned. As is common with leading groups, some things were said about the trip and the activities that were quite hurtful to me. Those words shot through me like a dagger, and the meager confidence I had was shattered. I had to excuse myself, and I went to my room and cried. Not small tears streaming down my face crying, but boo-hooing ugly crying. I was hurt. I was mad. I was mad at God. I was mad at all the people who ever wanted to put me in a leadership role. I was mad that I was there. I was mad that I was supposed to be this leader that I was most decidedly not. I just knew that I knew it was another mistake, and that I was not supposed to be a leader.
That's when my roommate came in. She prayed with me and said these words to me, "Satan always attacks where your giftings are." It was a revelation to me, and it was God speaking through her. God showed me that Satan doesn't want me to be a leader. He came to kill, steal, and destroy. Why would Satan leave alone our gifts from God? It's a brilliant plan! If Satan can get us to believe that the gifts God gave us are indeed a curse, or that we (or God) is wrong about those gifts, then Satan wins. And he doesn't care how old we are. He starts in on those promises and gifts incredibly early.
When each of the girls were born, I asked the Lord for a word for each of them. For Mikayla, He told me that she has the mantle of leadership upon her, and for Macey, she is made to go beyond our borders and change the world with her hands. I don't know what that means exactly, but I know her hands are so important to her future. And I've always loved her hands--I've always admired them, and thought the way she moved them and her mannerisms were just so cute. However, Macey has always been a colossal klutz. She knocks over everything she touches; she spills every drink. The floor underneath where she eats is covered with little tidbits of food. She gets food all over herself: in her hair, on her clothes, in her shoes. She spills everything in the car. She will absent-mindedly tear up paper into little pieces and strew them across the floor. She breaks almost every toy she plays with, or at least ruins it beyond use. She's broken my iPad screen three times, and my iPhone screen twice. To put it succinctly: she's a destructive little tornado. As I was talking to my dad about it the other day, the Lord reminded me of my experience in Mexico and how Satan will always attack us where we are gifted. Then He plainly asked me, "Where are Macey's giftings?" And that was it--it's her hands. Satan has been attacking her to destroy her confidence in her hands. If she believes that she destroys everything she touches, she will never be able to fulfill her destiny and the promise God gave me for her.
So we lay in bed and talked about it. I told her that Satan will always attack us where we are gifted. I told her about God's promise to me about her. She cried, "But I'm so destructive!" I cried, too. She's already believing Satan's lie, and I have to make sure God's truth prevails. We kept talking about it for several more minutes, and I prayed over her. The tears dried, and we hugged and kissed. Macey goes in the kitchen, and Mikayla immediately gets on to her for something she had destroyed earlier in the day. Macey holds her hands out and responds with, "Why would you say that, Mikayla? I'm going to change the world with my hands, and I just found out!"
It will take a long time to undo just the seven years of damage Satan has done to Macey and her confidence in her abilities and her hands. I will have to change the way I talk to her, and I will have to speak life into her every day in regards to her gifts. But I have confidence and faith that God will prevail, and that Satan will never win. He will always attack us exactly where our giftings are, and he will make us feel as if our giftings are not real, or that God was wrong. We must always be alert to that, speak against it, and cover ourselves in the blood of Jesus Christ.
One of the singles pastors at church decided that I needed to lead a group. Obviously, I did not concur, but I bit the bullet and did it anyway. After that season, I was asked again to be a leader, then again. In May 2016, I got a call from my singles pastor. She asked me to lead the Single Parent Family Mission Trip to Mexico. I had not even really planned on going on that trip. I had been praying about whether to sign up or not, but I still wasn't sure that's what God wanted me to do. She told me that she wasn't able to go on the trip because of a scheduling conflict. She said that she was told to choose one man and one woman to lead the trip in her stead. My gut reaction was to say no. I am not anywhere near qualified to lead a group of people on a mission trip. I hesitated, then I heard myself say, "yes" to her. Over the next few months, I spent more time in prayer than I ever had in my life. I carefully sought the Lord in every plan that I made. My co-leader was the perfect person for me to lead with. He is a big-picture person, and I'm a details person. We worked perfectly together, and my confidence in my leadership abilities was feebly growing.
There were numerous setbacks and rough patches in the missions team as we prepared for the trip. I had to handle situations I had never had to handle before. I realized that dealing with people is messy business. I was in uncharted territory. My faith in my abilities was shaky at best, and I truly had to learn to lean on the Lord in every step I took. The mission trip itself was one of the most trying weeks of my life. Not only was is physically draining (hard work, heat and humidity, and I was suffering from altitude sickness), but it was spiritually draining. We were in an area of Mexico that was dark and Satan's handiwork was evident everywhere we turned. It was emotionally draining to be away from my children, and it took a toll on my emotions that I was the leader. In the midst of dealing with my own struggles, everyone turned to me with their issues as well. The last evening we were there, things were not going as planned. As is common with leading groups, some things were said about the trip and the activities that were quite hurtful to me. Those words shot through me like a dagger, and the meager confidence I had was shattered. I had to excuse myself, and I went to my room and cried. Not small tears streaming down my face crying, but boo-hooing ugly crying. I was hurt. I was mad. I was mad at God. I was mad at all the people who ever wanted to put me in a leadership role. I was mad that I was there. I was mad that I was supposed to be this leader that I was most decidedly not. I just knew that I knew it was another mistake, and that I was not supposed to be a leader.
That's when my roommate came in. She prayed with me and said these words to me, "Satan always attacks where your giftings are." It was a revelation to me, and it was God speaking through her. God showed me that Satan doesn't want me to be a leader. He came to kill, steal, and destroy. Why would Satan leave alone our gifts from God? It's a brilliant plan! If Satan can get us to believe that the gifts God gave us are indeed a curse, or that we (or God) is wrong about those gifts, then Satan wins. And he doesn't care how old we are. He starts in on those promises and gifts incredibly early.
When each of the girls were born, I asked the Lord for a word for each of them. For Mikayla, He told me that she has the mantle of leadership upon her, and for Macey, she is made to go beyond our borders and change the world with her hands. I don't know what that means exactly, but I know her hands are so important to her future. And I've always loved her hands--I've always admired them, and thought the way she moved them and her mannerisms were just so cute. However, Macey has always been a colossal klutz. She knocks over everything she touches; she spills every drink. The floor underneath where she eats is covered with little tidbits of food. She gets food all over herself: in her hair, on her clothes, in her shoes. She spills everything in the car. She will absent-mindedly tear up paper into little pieces and strew them across the floor. She breaks almost every toy she plays with, or at least ruins it beyond use. She's broken my iPad screen three times, and my iPhone screen twice. To put it succinctly: she's a destructive little tornado. As I was talking to my dad about it the other day, the Lord reminded me of my experience in Mexico and how Satan will always attack us where we are gifted. Then He plainly asked me, "Where are Macey's giftings?" And that was it--it's her hands. Satan has been attacking her to destroy her confidence in her hands. If she believes that she destroys everything she touches, she will never be able to fulfill her destiny and the promise God gave me for her.
So we lay in bed and talked about it. I told her that Satan will always attack us where we are gifted. I told her about God's promise to me about her. She cried, "But I'm so destructive!" I cried, too. She's already believing Satan's lie, and I have to make sure God's truth prevails. We kept talking about it for several more minutes, and I prayed over her. The tears dried, and we hugged and kissed. Macey goes in the kitchen, and Mikayla immediately gets on to her for something she had destroyed earlier in the day. Macey holds her hands out and responds with, "Why would you say that, Mikayla? I'm going to change the world with my hands, and I just found out!"
It will take a long time to undo just the seven years of damage Satan has done to Macey and her confidence in her abilities and her hands. I will have to change the way I talk to her, and I will have to speak life into her every day in regards to her gifts. But I have confidence and faith that God will prevail, and that Satan will never win. He will always attack us exactly where our giftings are, and he will make us feel as if our giftings are not real, or that God was wrong. We must always be alert to that, speak against it, and cover ourselves in the blood of Jesus Christ.
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