I AM a mommy!

Wow. That's all I really know to say about being a mom. I absolutely love my new job as a mommy! I love Mikayla more than I ever thought imaginable. All I want to do is to protect her and comfort her and make sure all her needs are met. I pray for her safety and her future every day. I thank God for bringing her to me. I cannot imagine life without her. Most of the time I think I need her more than she needs me. It is the most amazing experience of my life.

I wasn't due until April 8, but my doctor wanted to induce me early, because she thought Mikayla was getting too big. I went in on Tuesday night to be induced on Wednesday morning. I thought it would be an all-day ordeal, so I told my family not to come until around 9 on Wednesday morning.

I arrived at the hospital at midnight Tuesday night, and I was sent to a private birthing room. They gave me a gown to wear and gave me some medicine to help induce me. Thus began the most uncomfortable night's sleep ever. Not only was I as big as a house, I had to pee every 10 minutes. If you have ever tried to move around with a 10 pound bowling ball strapped to your belly, then you know how I felt.

The bed I was "sleeping" on had a hole in it with a bar across it. It was not a bed meant for sleeping, it was meant for birthing. I put the word sleeping in quotes because there was no sleeping. Adam slept (and snored) on the couch. Perfectly comfortable.

The nurse came in around 6:00 a.m. to start my pitocin. She was sticking drugs into my IV. Adam decided he would run home really quick to shower and change. I told him ok, just hurry. My doctor came in around 7, and wanted to break my water.

I wanted to wait for Adam to get back, but she thought she needed to do it then. It was horrific. It hurt so bad. I was alone; I was terrified; I was in excruciating pain. Tears were rolling down my face, "Breathe, Lindsey, Breathe, Relax." I was talking to myself by this point. Adam walked in, and he rushed to my side. He put his hand on my face, and told me to breathe and relax. I was so happy to see him. Water broken; water everywhere.

My doctor rushed out, and I asked Adam where my mom was. She was on her way. I had told her not to come yet, remember?

"When can I get my epidural?" was the next thing I was asking. It hurt so bad. I had one contraction on top of another. It was never-ending. The anesthesiologist came in, and gave me sweet relief.

As soon as the medicine got to me, Mikayla's heart beat dropped off the monitor. My blood pressure was really low. They couldn't find her heartbeat. I was so scared, I didn't know what to say or do. I was just watching everyone buzz around me. I just kept praying she would be safe and healthy. They used an internal monitor to find her heartbeat, and it was slowing down. The reassuring thump thump I had been listening to the past 7 hours was fading away.

"We have to get this baby out - now," my nurse said. That meant an emergency c-section. I was concerned about Adam being able to come with me. They gave him a pair of scrubs, and he followed as they wheeled me out. She went to get my doctor, and they whisked me away. I saw my mother-in-law Jane, my brother-in-law Ross and my mom and dad as I was being wheeled away.

I was so scared. I wanted to cry, but I kept telling myself to be strong. I was shaking uncontrollably from the medicine. They strapped me arms down to the gurney crucifixion-style. I was waiting for what seemed like an eternity for Adam to make it into the operating room. Finally, he came in and sat by my side. I just kept looking at Adam for reassurance, which he readily gave me.

Probably 10 people were in the room, all moving around in orderly chaos. They moved as quickly as possible, and Mikayla's head popped out. She was handed to a nurse, who took her to the heat table.

"Congratulations. You have a beautiful Baby Boy!"

"WHAT!?!"

"I'm sorry, I mean girl!!"

"Whew!" I thought. That nurse gave me another little scare. I had been told by so many people not to buy pink until she was born. Everyone had a cousin or an aunt who had been told it was a girl only to be a boy. I thought I was another one for a minute.

When I saw Mikayla for the first time, I couldn't help it any more, tears streamed down my face. I was so relieved, happy, thankful and just overwhelmed. I couldn't wait to hold her!

After what seemed like an eternity, the doctors and nurses finally were finished sewing and stapling me up. I got to carry Mikayla back to the birthing room. Finally, my baby girl was in my arms! I couldn't believe it! I loved her more than anything in the entire world, and I had just met her!

I'm about to be a mommy!

In about five hours, I will be heading to Arlington Memorial Hospital. I am being induced into labor. My doctor thinks Mikayla is getting too big, so she wants to get her out! I can't believe that by this time tomorrow, I will be a mommy! The range of emotions I am feeling right now is unbelievable. I am excited, anxious, nervous, scared, elated and already exhausted! I am overwhelmed that I am about to bring into this world another life. A life that I will be charged with protecting, raising, teaching and directing on the path that God has chosen both for her and Adam and me. All your prayers, thoughts and kind words are appreciated. More to come....