A chronicle of our lives. One day, maybe a book...

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Coronavirus Response by Ennegram









The Enneagram test is is a comprehensive personality test that has become wildly popular the past few years. It breaks people down into nine basic categories based on their fears, desires and motivations. If you don't know what type you are, click here for a free test, or you want to read more about each type, click here. I thought I would have a little fun with the Corona frenzy that has the world shut down right now, and I broke down the responses each personality type would have. Because, hey, what else is there to do at home? (this is for entertainment purposes only!)

1. The Moral Perfectionist
  • Food is rationed
  • Each family member is only allowed four squares of TP per wipe
  • Home school desks are set up with color-coded assignment charts
  • Already wrote her own lessons to teach her children
  • Wonders why people are just now learning how to wash their hands properly



2. The Supportive Advisor
  • Calling grandparents and other elderly to make sure they have enough food and supplies
  • The neighborhood kids are gathering in her yard (but at least 6 feet away from each other)
  • Makes cookies for her neighbors
  • Keeps sharing Facebook articles with friends and mom groups in case they didn't see them
  • Wants to make sure no one feels alone



3. The Successful Achiever
  • Is taking the quarantine more seriously than anyone, and will let you know that you should be, too. 
  • House is spotless and sprayed down with Lysol
  • Knows what day it is
  • Has showered and fixed her hair every day
  • Wakes up early to go shopping
  • Freezer full of food
  • Worried about how the PTA will survive without her for three weeks



4. The Romantic Individualist
  • Needs to mediate daily to bring herself peace in these uncertain times
  • Is diffusing essential oils
  • Sees this as an opportunity to grow as a better person
  • Is grateful for the time to herself
  • Not concerned about home schooling her kids--but allows them ample time to create art and music.
  • Realizes everything she's taken for granted before



5. The investigative Thinker
  • Knows exactly where this virus came from and how to treat it
  • Has been researching protocol in other countries
  • Scared she doesn't know how to cook enough different meals
  • Is secretly happy she gets to stay home.
  • Doesn't have to worry about talking to people face to face anymore



6. The Loyal Guardian
  • Is afraid that she could come in contact with someone who hasn't washed their hands
  • Gently reminds everyone that we must remain vigilant and safe to make it through together
  • Is terrified she won't be able to do this on her own
  • Has called her mom several times to check in
  • Has read way too many online articles about the virus



7. The Entertaining Optimist
  • Thinks the virus is just like the flu
  • Is still hosting parties and get-togethers maybe in person, but definitely virtually
  • Bought ultra-cheap airline tickets
  • Picks up and heads out of state for "quarantine"Posts Corona-virus memes
  • Realizes the the liquor store is definitely an "essential business"



8. The Protective Challenger
  • Is highly suspicious of this virus and its origins
  • Has already figured out the conspiracy behind it all
  • Highly irritated by the inconvenience of it all
  • Is planning on carrying on life as usual
  • Isn't going to follow the CDC warnings or stay at home orders
  • Has stocked up on ammo



9. The Peaceful Mediator
  • Hopes this can get over with quickly
  • Knows that if everyone just stays at home and obeys, then it will get over quickly
  • Thinks, "Why can't everyone just obey?"Wants everyone to be nice to each other and for once forget about politics
  • Affirms everyone in their decisions in how they handle their response