God is Not in Control

A psycho unleashed terror in Las Vegas, Nevada the beginning of October. He murdered 58 people and injured 546 people who were all at a country music concert. Even several months later, there are many questions unanswered. When mass murders like this occur, or even when smaller tragedies hit us, we want so desperately to make the pain a little more bearable. The range of emotions from rage and anger to anguish and melancholy leave us crying out, "Dear God, Why?" We comfort those who are hurting with our words, especially our "Christian" words. The two most common phrases we hear when the incomprehensible happen are, "God is in control," or "Everything happens for a reason." People post memes with these phrases, inspirational quotes and send cards with these words. While these two phrases may give some momentary comfort in times of confusion and hurt, what they say about God is unbiblical and untrue.

We indeed need to "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." God does "'know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" God knows everything that will happen, but that doesn't mean He is controlling us, the universe, or the earth. God is not a puppet master, and we are not his marionettes. We have been given free-will, and we can choose our own path. We get to make every choice every day. We get to choose whether or not we follow God. He tells us what He wishes for us-that to be His disciple, we must "take up their cross daily and follow me." But He never forces our hand, because He can't, and therein lies the paradox. How can an omnipotent God not do something, yet still be limited in what He can do? It doesn't make sense to our human (and very limited) brains.

When God created the universe, He created laws of physics and thermodynamics. He created gravity, friction, transference of energy, and all other scientific laws. We know that these rules cannot be broken--what goes up must come down; for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We know through scientific observation that these are laws--they cannot be broken. If God wanted to, He could thump the moon to the Horsehead Nebula, but He won't. Because it violates the laws in which He set up the universe. In the same way He set up the laws of the physical world, He also set up the laws of humanity. God could intervene and stop every evil thing from happening, but he won't. It violates the laws of humanity.

When God set up the laws of humanity, first of all, He gave us free will. He gave us the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Precisely because He is a loving God, He had to give us a choice to love Him, honor Him, and be faithful to Him. If He didn't give us a choice, it wouldn't be true love. He also gave man dominion over the earth. Genesis 1 tells us that God made the animals, then He made man "so that they may rule over" the animals and all the earth. The Psalmist in Psalm 8:6 praises His name, saying "You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet." Just as the laws of physics cannot be altered, neither can the laws of His character.

God gave us control over the earth. That's why Satan was able to deceive Adam and Eve in the garden. That's why there is sin in this world. Because God is not in control. If He were in control, there would be no sin, therefore no earth. A sinless world can only happen once this earth passes away, and there is a new heaven and a new earth. That time has not yet come, but it will happen. God promises it in Revelation 21.

Even though God isn't in control, He can still perform miraculous wonders. He is still capable of signs and wonders. He is still omnipotent. He is still the author and finisher of our faith. While we are living here on this earth, God will not intervene unless we give him permission. God cannot do anything on this earth unless He has a body to work through. The same things goes for Satan. Satan and his legions must have a body to work their evil plans, because God gave mankind dominion over the earth.

I Peter 3:9-16 says:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

It is so important for us to realize that when someone dies here on earth, they are receiving their inheritance in heaven. We are to rejoice that they are rejoicing on streets of gold. They are free from sin and every ugly thing here on earth. They are only separated from us but for a fleeting moment here on earth. So many times we question God asking, "Why?" when the actual question we should be asking is "Why not?" Why should God not take His children out of poverty, destruction, sin and tragedy and draw them next to Him? Why should He not seat them on His throne of glory? Why should God not use tragedy to teach those of us who remain more about Who He is and to show us His infinite love? But He never lets bad things happen just so He can be glorified. That's absurd. He doesn't work that way--but Satan does. Satan is sneaky, and he will get us to believe that bad things happen to us because of God. He is the ultimate blame-shifter.

I will never believe that God's "divine plan" was for me to be sexually assaulted, contemplate suicide, go through a divorce, or any of the other bad things that have happened to me. There was NO reason for it other than Satan trying to get me to end my life. And I refuse to believe God "let it happen because it's part of His plan." It happened because we live in a fallen world. God has indeed used those things in my life to His Glory. He has turned something tragic and horrific into something beautiful that only He is capable of doing. But to say that everything: tragedy, loss, hurt, pain, destruction, depression, etc. was a part of God's divine plan—-no. It wasn't. That is Satan's plan. He's the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy.

Summer 2017

I glimpse into our summer 2017. Click the link to see the video! It took me a while to get it all put together, but I finally got it! We had a blast this summer--water parks, New Orleans, Destin, Vicksburg, Eustace and lots of time with the cousins! Summer culminated with us finally moving in to our new house! God has blessed our little family more than I could ever imagine. There's a song that says, "Where there is no way, You make a way!" And that's exactly how I feel about our house. God made a way for me to be a homeowner and for me to give my girls a home.

For my 38th birthday, we went to Keller Pointe, which is a local water park. They have an indoor section with a slide and play area, as well as a large outdoor park. It's intimate enough for us to be able to just play and not worry about our stuff.The girls were on the swim team for the Northwest YMCA. They practiced during the week and had meets on Saturdays. Macey went to Gym n' Swim camp at Sokol the first week of the summer. Another reason I love living out here--I used to go to Sokol when I was her age, as well as swim at the YMCA for swim team. Mikayla went back to Leta Andrews' basketball camp at Country Day.

Lauren, Sadie, Titus, Eli and Emmie returned with us to Miramar Beach this year as well. We took an extra day to drive down and stayed for an evening in New Orleans. We stayed at the Hilton, and Mikayla was in awe of the hotel. She mentioned several times that it was the nicest hotel we've ever been to. The next day, we went to Cafe DuMonde and ate beignets for breakfast. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting, but it was a donut with powered sugar. They were good, but I just thought there would be more to it. The cafe doesn't serve anything else, either. After breakfast, we went walking down the French Quarter. We went to St. Louis Cathedral, and it was overwhelming. It was so beautiful. We walked out on Jackson Square, and there were lots of palm readers and voodoo booths. The girls did not like it one bit. They could feel the presence about the place, and it wasn't one of the Holy Spirit. Before we left, I took a picture of myself reading "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" while standing on the banks of the Mississippi River. I'm sure I'm the only one who would think that's cute.

We stayed in the same condo complex in Miramar Beach that we stayed in last year. It wasn't the same condo, but it was the same floor plan. We were on the 4th floor, and it actually worked out really well. It rained on us a couple times, and a torrential downpour let loose the day we left. We went on a shelling and snorkeling tour this year as well. We saw several dolphins, then went to a shallow coastal area to look for shells. The captain found a blue crab for us to all hold. We found a ton of seashells. When La-La and I got back to the condo, we were cleaning the shells, and two hermit crabs had made it in the shell bags! We took them back to the ocean so they might be able to live. As we were washing the shells, we were talking about how clean they already were, and how it was odd that there were so many shells right where we docked the boat. It then dawned on us that the Destin Snorkel Company planted the shells! They had to go out prior to our boat trip and place all of those shells there. We felt pretty foolish and laughed about it. I guess it's more fun to at least pretend we are finding the shells than just to buy them in a store. Then we wondered where those shells actually came from.

On our way back to Texas, the girls and I stayed in Vicksburg, Mississippi. We stayed at a casino hotel on the Mississippi River. The view was breathtaking. There was a pool, so of course the girls jumped right in. We ate dinner in the hotel that night, and it was half price appetizers. We had shrimp and crab claws. The girls were still wet from the pool, and it was so cold in the dining room. We shivered all the way through dinner.

The next morning, I found a Chick-Fil-A, because we all wanted Chicken Minis. When we pulled up, there was a man cutting the grass. When we got out of the car, Macey said, "It smells like grasshole!" We all got a good laugh out of that one. We then went to the National Military Park Museum. I didn't know what it was, but I thought it looked interesting, and it delivered! It's a drive-through park with monuments all throughout it that honor the men who fought in the Civil War. We got out of the car several times and took pictures and read the monuments. There were cannons, and the girls pretended to shoot them. After having read a lot of men's names on the monuments and tombstones, Mikayla said, "Where are all of the women's names?" I explained to her how only men fought back then--not women. She was incredulous. "But why?" she demanded. "Women are just as capable as men to fight in a war." The USS Cairo is also on display in the park, so we got to walk through the warship. Macey was especially interested in the museum artifacts. We had a wonderful time at the beach and our stops along the way.

As soon as we got back to Fort Worth, we spent a couple days at home before heading to the farm. We spent the 4th of July there, and the kids loved it. We went fishing, and there was a giant waterslide for the kids. We shot fireworks, and even started a fire! The fireworks smoldered and caught fire in the middle of the night. Quick thinking Papa Rock saved the farm from going up in flames. Mama Rock had just gotten two barn kittens, and the girls were smitten. The girls caught their first fish, and Mikayla wouldn't even hold the line to take a picture with it.

The cousins came to Fort Worth later in July as well. We went to Burger's Lake with them, as well as Eagle Mountain Lake. Justin rented a boat, and the kids got to wakeboard and tube. The girls had never gotten to do that before, so they had a blast. I'm so thankful for a sister and brother in law who can give my kids these amazing experiences that I can't.

One night, I couldn't sleep, so at about 2:30 in the morning, I pulled Mikayla and Macey out of bed, and we went to Whataburger to eat breakfast. The only reason was just to make a memory. Because sometimes, it's just fun to do wild and crazy things to make memories.