A psycho unleashed terror in Las Vegas, Nevada the beginning of October. He murdered 58 people and injured 546 people who were all at a country music concert. Even several months later, there are many questions unanswered. When mass murders like this occur, or even when smaller tragedies hit us, we want so desperately to make the pain a little more bearable. The range of emotions from rage and anger to anguish and melancholy leave us crying out, "Dear God, Why?" We comfort those who are hurting with our words, especially our "Christian" words. The two most common phrases we hear when the incomprehensible happen are, "God is in control," or "Everything happens for a reason." People post memes with these phrases, inspirational quotes and send cards with these words. While these two phrases may give some momentary comfort in times of confusion and hurt, what they say about God is unbiblical and untrue.
We indeed need to "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." God does "'know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" God knows everything that will happen, but that doesn't mean He is controlling us, the universe, or the earth. God is not a puppet master, and we are not his marionettes. We have been given free-will, and we can choose our own path. We get to make every choice every day. We get to choose whether or not we follow God. He tells us what He wishes for us-that to be His disciple, we must "take up their cross daily and follow me." But He never forces our hand, because He can't, and therein lies the paradox. How can an omnipotent God not do something, yet still be limited in what He can do? It doesn't make sense to our human (and very limited) brains.
When God created the universe, He created laws of physics and thermodynamics. He created gravity, friction, transference of energy, and all other scientific laws. We know that these rules cannot be broken--what goes up must come down; for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We know through scientific observation that these are laws--they cannot be broken. If God wanted to, He could thump the moon to the Horsehead Nebula, but He won't. Because it violates the laws in which He set up the universe. In the same way He set up the laws of the physical world, He also set up the laws of humanity. God could intervene and stop every evil thing from happening, but he won't. It violates the laws of humanity.
When God set up the laws of humanity, first of all, He gave us free will. He gave us the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Precisely because He is a loving God, He had to give us a choice to love Him, honor Him, and be faithful to Him. If He didn't give us a choice, it wouldn't be true love. He also gave man dominion over the earth. Genesis 1 tells us that God made the animals, then He made man "so that they may rule over" the animals and all the earth. The Psalmist in Psalm 8:6 praises His name, saying "You made them rulers over the works of your hands; you put everything under their feet." Just as the laws of physics cannot be altered, neither can the laws of His character.
God gave us control over the earth. That's why Satan was able to deceive Adam and Eve in the garden. That's why there is sin in this world. Because God is not in control. If He were in control, there would be no sin, therefore no earth. A sinless world can only happen once this earth passes away, and there is a new heaven and a new earth. That time has not yet come, but it will happen. God promises it in Revelation 21.
Even though God isn't in control, He can still perform miraculous wonders. He is still capable of signs and wonders. He is still omnipotent. He is still the author and finisher of our faith. While we are living here on this earth, God will not intervene unless we give him permission. God cannot do anything on this earth unless He has a body to work through. The same things goes for Satan. Satan and his legions must have a body to work their evil plans, because God gave mankind dominion over the earth.
I Peter 3:9-16 says:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
It is so important for us to realize that when someone dies here on earth, they are receiving their inheritance in heaven. We are to rejoice that they are rejoicing on streets of gold. They are free from sin and every ugly thing here on earth. They are only separated from us but for a fleeting moment here on earth. So many times we question God asking, "Why?" when the actual question we should be asking is "Why not?" Why should God not take His children out of poverty, destruction, sin and tragedy and draw them next to Him? Why should He not seat them on His throne of glory? Why should God not use tragedy to teach those of us who remain more about Who He is and to show us His infinite love? But He never lets bad things happen just so He can be glorified. That's absurd. He doesn't work that way--but Satan does. Satan is sneaky, and he will get us to believe that bad things happen to us because of God. He is the ultimate blame-shifter.
I will never believe that God's "divine plan" was for me to be sexually assaulted, contemplate suicide, go through a divorce, or any of the other bad things that have happened to me. There was NO reason for it other than Satan trying to get me to end my life. And I refuse to believe God "let it happen because it's part of His plan." It happened because we live in a fallen world. God has indeed used those things in my life to His Glory. He has turned something tragic and horrific into something beautiful that only He is capable of doing. But to say that everything: tragedy, loss, hurt, pain, destruction, depression, etc. was a part of God's divine plan—-no. It wasn't. That is Satan's plan. He's the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy.
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Monday, December 11, 2017
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Chester
This past week, the lead singer of the band Linkin Park, Chester Bennington, committed suicide. Unlike other recent celebrity suicides and overdoses, this one has affected me more than any other. Maybe it's because he's so close to my age. Maybe it's because I liked Linkin Park so much. Maybe it's more than any of that.
When I was in college, the band Linkin Park released their first studio album, Hybrid Theory. One of my best friends and I couldn't wait until the band came to Texas so we could see them in concert. We drove two and a half hours to see them, and couldn't stop talking about the concert. We weaseled our way down to as close to the stage as the security guards would let us go without proper tickets. I can still see the sweat dripping down from Chester's frosted-tips to his temple. With their grungy guitar-heavy rock sound combined with Chester's scraggly voice and Mike's near rapping, the band was a perfect combination of all that I loved about 90's music. Most importantly, for the first time, there was a band who played music with lyrics that spoke to my soul. They talked about real-life issues like suicide, depression and rejection. Not thinly veiled allusions and artistic interpretation of lyrics. This wasn't scar tissue that I wish you saw, the world wasn't a vampire, and who really wants to destroy my sweater anyway?
These lyrics were straight-forward. They cut like a knife. "Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break." And I was at a time in my life that I was about to break.
I dealt with thoughts of suicide starting in my early teens. And I always thought I was alone. Thoughts of suicide only happened to people who are super screwed up. I wasn't super screwed up--I was only screwed up. I was a Christian, after all. I went to a Christian school. I had good parents. I had a good life. Why would I ever want to commit suicide? But those thoughts entered my mind frequently. Sometimes, I would be driving down the road, and I would think, "What if I just steered the car right over this bridge?" I was convinced I would die before I turned 21. I thought about shooting myself, hanging myself or cutting my wrists? Which would hurt the least? Which would make the least amount of mess? Pills. That's the ticket.
There was no one I could talk to; there was nowhere I could turn. I felt utterly alone, and I suffered in silence. Because no one else would ever understand why this middle class Christian girl would ever think about suicide. I was ugly. I was unloved. I felt like no one truly knew me. No one truly cared. No one would ever understand. It resulted in my drinking (a lot) and doing other things that are unbecoming of a young lady. Then came Linkin Park. All of a sudden, I realized I'm not alone. Chester and the band sang songs about suicide. They sang songs about real life. They sang about all the pressure there is to be perfect. "I kept everything inside, and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard." The pressure from society, the pressure from teachers, parents, relatives, everyone in your life. He talked about the walls closing in; he talked about real hurts--my hurts.
I felt like finally, there is someone else who feels the same way. And if the music is that popular, then maybe there are others out there who feel like me. It opened up conversations with friends, and it made me feel not quite so alone. It took much more than Linkin Park to pull me out of the drunken stupor of depression and into God's presence. But it was the first step. That's why Chester's suicide has affected me so greatly. He didn't have to die. There was a Way out of the pain. He believed the lies for one day too long.
No one can walk this journey for you. When you're in the midst of the lies, you can't hear the truth. Nothing anyone says really matters. It's you and your mind, your thoughts and Satan's lies versus God's Word. It's your choice which one you believe. And it is most definitely a choice. By not making a choice, you are choosing the former. To choose the latter, you must consciously say it out loud, "I reject the lies of Satan, I believe God's Word for my life."
In order to make the choice to believe God's Word, you have to know what God's Word says about you. That takes reading the Bible and choosing to take the time to read it. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." That means that EVERY thought that comes into our head must be taken to God's Word and be put to the litmus test of whether it is from God or not.
And this is where Satan is ever so tricky. Satan's lies to us always sound like they are coming from us--from our own mind. Satan's lies are always in first person. "I am ugly." "I am alone." "No one loves me." "I am worthless." Notice that his lies are not in second person saying "You". It would be much easier to identify Satan's lies if they were in second person as if Satan himself was talking to us. But he doesn't work that way. He gives us the lies as if they are coming from our own head (or heart), so they seem real.
God's Words to us are usually in second person. "You are loved." "You are worthy." "You are My child." Because they are coming from God our Father, Jesus our Bridegroom, and Holy Spirit, our Truth and Counselor. It's a lot harder to believe something when it seems to be coming from someone other than ourselves. But it is the Truth. Jesus is the Truth. And the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth (John 16:13 NIV).
Walking through this broken world will never be easy. But it's our choice if we are going to be broken in the broken world. You are not defective because you have suicidal thoughts. There is nothing wrong with you because you feel this way, but you don't have to feel this way. In the end, it DOES even matter. You matter.
*wikimedia commons
When I was in college, the band Linkin Park released their first studio album, Hybrid Theory. One of my best friends and I couldn't wait until the band came to Texas so we could see them in concert. We drove two and a half hours to see them, and couldn't stop talking about the concert. We weaseled our way down to as close to the stage as the security guards would let us go without proper tickets. I can still see the sweat dripping down from Chester's frosted-tips to his temple. With their grungy guitar-heavy rock sound combined with Chester's scraggly voice and Mike's near rapping, the band was a perfect combination of all that I loved about 90's music. Most importantly, for the first time, there was a band who played music with lyrics that spoke to my soul. They talked about real-life issues like suicide, depression and rejection. Not thinly veiled allusions and artistic interpretation of lyrics. This wasn't scar tissue that I wish you saw, the world wasn't a vampire, and who really wants to destroy my sweater anyway?
These lyrics were straight-forward. They cut like a knife. "Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break." And I was at a time in my life that I was about to break.
I dealt with thoughts of suicide starting in my early teens. And I always thought I was alone. Thoughts of suicide only happened to people who are super screwed up. I wasn't super screwed up--I was only screwed up. I was a Christian, after all. I went to a Christian school. I had good parents. I had a good life. Why would I ever want to commit suicide? But those thoughts entered my mind frequently. Sometimes, I would be driving down the road, and I would think, "What if I just steered the car right over this bridge?" I was convinced I would die before I turned 21. I thought about shooting myself, hanging myself or cutting my wrists? Which would hurt the least? Which would make the least amount of mess? Pills. That's the ticket.
There was no one I could talk to; there was nowhere I could turn. I felt utterly alone, and I suffered in silence. Because no one else would ever understand why this middle class Christian girl would ever think about suicide. I was ugly. I was unloved. I felt like no one truly knew me. No one truly cared. No one would ever understand. It resulted in my drinking (a lot) and doing other things that are unbecoming of a young lady. Then came Linkin Park. All of a sudden, I realized I'm not alone. Chester and the band sang songs about suicide. They sang songs about real life. They sang about all the pressure there is to be perfect. "I kept everything inside, and even though I tried, it all fell apart. What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard." The pressure from society, the pressure from teachers, parents, relatives, everyone in your life. He talked about the walls closing in; he talked about real hurts--my hurts.
I felt like finally, there is someone else who feels the same way. And if the music is that popular, then maybe there are others out there who feel like me. It opened up conversations with friends, and it made me feel not quite so alone. It took much more than Linkin Park to pull me out of the drunken stupor of depression and into God's presence. But it was the first step. That's why Chester's suicide has affected me so greatly. He didn't have to die. There was a Way out of the pain. He believed the lies for one day too long.
No one can walk this journey for you. When you're in the midst of the lies, you can't hear the truth. Nothing anyone says really matters. It's you and your mind, your thoughts and Satan's lies versus God's Word. It's your choice which one you believe. And it is most definitely a choice. By not making a choice, you are choosing the former. To choose the latter, you must consciously say it out loud, "I reject the lies of Satan, I believe God's Word for my life."
In order to make the choice to believe God's Word, you have to know what God's Word says about you. That takes reading the Bible and choosing to take the time to read it. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to, "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." That means that EVERY thought that comes into our head must be taken to God's Word and be put to the litmus test of whether it is from God or not.
And this is where Satan is ever so tricky. Satan's lies to us always sound like they are coming from us--from our own mind. Satan's lies are always in first person. "I am ugly." "I am alone." "No one loves me." "I am worthless." Notice that his lies are not in second person saying "You". It would be much easier to identify Satan's lies if they were in second person as if Satan himself was talking to us. But he doesn't work that way. He gives us the lies as if they are coming from our own head (or heart), so they seem real.
God's Words to us are usually in second person. "You are loved." "You are worthy." "You are My child." Because they are coming from God our Father, Jesus our Bridegroom, and Holy Spirit, our Truth and Counselor. It's a lot harder to believe something when it seems to be coming from someone other than ourselves. But it is the Truth. Jesus is the Truth. And the Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth (John 16:13 NIV).
Walking through this broken world will never be easy. But it's our choice if we are going to be broken in the broken world. You are not defective because you have suicidal thoughts. There is nothing wrong with you because you feel this way, but you don't have to feel this way. In the end, it DOES even matter. You matter.
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