Time is Tickin'

I know I usually begin most of my posts with something about how quickly time has passed. This time however, it's 2014. For real? How in the world is it already 2014?

Around Thanksgiving, Mikayla figured out the truth about Santa. It began in the beginning of November when Mikayla asked me about the Tooth Fairy, "So is the Tooth Fairy like Tinkerbell?"

The side of my mouth went up, and I cocked my head to the side, "Well..." I drew it out. "Not exactly."

My hesitation told Mikayla exactly what she needed to know. "So, it's really the mommies and daddies who leave the money under the pillow, isn't it?"

I nodded to confirm, hesitant she might be upset. She shrugged her shoulders and nonchalantly said, "Ok."

A few weeks later, the Santa conversation came.

"So, the Tooth Fairy isn't real. So what about Santa?" Mikayla inquired.

I gave her the same look as when she asked about the Tooth Fairy. I could see the wheels turning in her head. This was an epic moment that could shape how she views Christmas for years to come. I knew I had to delicately handle this question. One misstep could cause a flood of tears and absolute heartbreak in my precious 6-year-old.

"Well, Honey, Santa is as real as you want him to be," I said. I watched her as her nose scrunched up and she tilted her head. Her eyes shifted as she was figuring out what I meant.

"So..." she started. "Is he real?" I didn't audibly answer, but she could read the look on my face. "So, the mommies and daddies bring the presents?"

I studied her face, and innocent understanding washed over her face, almost a surprise curiosity could be seen behind her eyes. I nodded, then she said, "Oh."

She wasn't heartbroken, nor upset, nor even really fazed. I reminded her that, "As long as you believe in Santa, he will still bring you presents." She gave me a half-smile, squinted her eyes, and nodded knowingly.

For the rest of the Christmas season, it was like Santa was our little secret. We had to keep it secret from her friends, her sister and any other kids. Any time we would talk about Santa, or when we saw a mall-Santa, Mikayla would look at me sideways and put the back of her hand next to her mouth as if she were telling me a secret, then she would nod at me. She was wordlessly telling me that she knew the "secret" about Santa.

Since Mikayla found out Santa wasn't real, the next step was to realize that the Elf on the Shelf was indeed not real, either. I kept forgetting to move the Elf. I blamed it one morning on the fact Peppermint Angel didn't feel safe traveling in the icy weather. Mikayla put her fists on her hips, turned her head sideways, raised her eyebrows and said, "Um, it's because you forgot to move her."

There is never a shortage of funny and memorable things that Mikayla says. Headed home on Christmas Day, we notice there aren't many Christmas lights on the houses in our neighborhood. Mikayla says to me, "Mommy, to have the Christmas spirit, you need joy, faith, love, and a ladder: to put up Christmas lights!"

There's also no shortage of precious moments from MayMay. The other day, she grabs my face and cups it in her hands and says, "I love you, Momma." She absolutely melts my heart. When she cuddles on me, I tell her, "You have my heart." She will then respond, "You have my heart, too, Momma."

This winter, we've had some severe weather. We missed three days of school at the beginning of December because it iced over so badly. The wintry mix started on Thursday, Dec. 5. By the next day, there were several inches of solid ice covering everything. Temperatures were in the teens, and didn't get above freezing for several days. There was no way we could even get out of the house until Monday, and even then, it was still treacherous. We didn't return to school until Wednesday, and there was still ice on the roadways in the back yard. We also had more extremely cold temperatures this past weekend, when temperatures were in the teens and stayed around 25-27 during the day.

On Monday, the temperatures weren't supposed to get above 30, so I left the water dripping in each of the sinks. When I got home from school, I pulled up to the house and there was water seeping out of the garage. My first thought was that the hot water heater had busted. When I went in the garage, there was water everywhere, and as I walked in the house, water was covering the floor in the house. The sink in the girls' bathroom was on full-blast, and the water was overflowing on to the floor. I turned the water off and surveyed the damage. I took the girls across the street. Almost the entire house was flooded with at least an inch or more of water. The girls' rooms were soaked, the living room, dining room, kitchen, my bathroom, and my bedroom were soaked. The only room not affected was the front bedroom.

Obviously I was panicked. I called my parents, who came out immediately to help. The plumber came out right away, and he said it was a phenomenon known as "Hammer Pipe." He said that the pipe freezing and contracting caused pressure to build up and cause the faucet to come on full force. Add to that the fact the drain wasn't completely clear, it was a recipe for disaster. The guy who came out to remove the water said he estimated about 800 gallons of water were removed from the house. He had to pull all the padding from the carpet out, and then he placed industrial fans around the house to dry out the carpet. It took roughly five hours to remove the water and padding from the house.

The carpet guy brought over more fans for a total of 13, along with two industrial dehumidifiers. They had to run for a total of three days. I'm not looking forward to the water bill or electric bill this month!

Marriage

While at the gym today, a talk show played on the TV above my treadmill. The title for the segment was, "Is Marriage Outdated?" I couldn't hear the audio, but I read along with the captioning. Several guests were on the stage with various beliefs on the institution of marriage. One woman said that she does not believe in marriage. She said she believed that couples don't have to be married to raise children effectively. The man sitting in the middle explained that he and the mother of his daughter always try to behave in an appropriate manner when they are around his daughter. He said he doesn't want her to grow up thinking relationships are bad. He even said at one point, "I don't want my daughter to date men like me."

The other lady said that she believed in marriage, but she wasn't sure how she could stand in front of someone and promise that she would feel the same way about him that she does at this precise moment. They went on to talk about how marriage today is a contract, and that marriage can mean financial security. As the segment went on, audience participants started sharing their feelings. One lady said that she and her boyfriend have a one year old son, and they were planning on getting married, but they were going to wait until the time was right. Another woman stood up and talked about how she and her husband got married so her child and she would all have the same last name.

The entire time, my heart was grieved. Recently divorced, I know how hard marriage is. I also know marriage is not about anything these people are talking about. No wonder these people aren't married, or they haven't been able to make a relationship work. Every single one of these people view marriage selfishly. It's all about them. Not one of them ever said anything about the other person in the relationship. Marriage isn't - and can't be - about yourself. We live in the "me" generation, and it is all too evident in marriages today.

The guy who said he doesn't want his daughter to date men like him exemplifies this selfishness. If he doesn't want her to date men like him, then why is that not enough for him to change himself? He should be the types of man that he does want his daughter to date. But he is too wrapped up in doing what he wants to do to change himself to be an example to his daughter. He refuses to give her a solid, positive example of what a relationship should be like, much less a marriage.

Marriage is about two people. It's about a relationship with the other person. It's about love and choosing that person. It's about a commitment to that person forever. How can someone stand in front of God, friends and family, and swear that he or she will feel the same way in 10 years? It's through God, and it's by choosing to put that person's needs and desires ahead of your own. That's what love is in the first place. It's not the warm, fuzzy feelings when you get around that person. It's not the euphoria you feel when near that person.

Marriage is a covenant - not a contract. A contract is you get a certain percentage, and I get a certain percentage. A contract is selfish. I'm in it for me, and you are in it for you. Therefore, I have to protect my investment. How can that ever lead to a meaningful and fulfilling relationship? Conversely, a covenant says that I give you 100 percent, and you give me 100 percent. I'm in it for you, and you are in it for me. Therefore, I protect you, and you protect me. That's how marriage was designed, and that's how God always meant for it to be.

When two people are in a covenant marriage where God is at the helm, then there's no way that it can fail. It's not always going to be easy, but when your eyes are turned away from self, and they are permanently affixed to God, then marriage works.